Hey guys!
I try to bring up serious topics as well on this blog because I feel like it's important to spread news and awareness, as well as you guys understanding my opinions and me because after all, this is a semi-personal blog.

I've written about the school shooting in Parkland, Florida and I don't want anybody thinking that just because it's been a while since last schooting that everybody's just stopped caring or thinking about it. This is a serious problem and not only the US, althought 99% of the problem is with the US in this case, has to lecture about gun safety and safety in general. We need to look after each other, otherwise we're doomed. And from the topic of looking after each other, I want to bring up another issue that I think is horribly misunderstood and needs to get more focus.

In January this year two parents locked themselves and their two young teenaged daughters in their house and killed their kids and then took their own lives. It's just such an unimaginable thing that isn't supposed to happen, but still it did.
Not much information has been released to the public about this murder suicide, but the police did find a suicide note written by the father where he says that they're finding no life quality and that this life isn't worth living, and names their daughters disease as a cause for this. Of course I let my morbid curiosity take the better of me and I recently googled for answers about what disease the daughers were suffering from, because if it's to the point where you think that killing your entire family is a better fate than living with this problem, then it must be really big. And it was.
I'm not going to go into details about this case because they do deserve to rest in peace and although the parents commited a horrendous crime, I can understand where they're coming from since I've been severely suicidal myself. The daughters were diagnosed with CFS which stands for Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. This is briefly mentioned in the note that we know.

Chronic Fatigue Syndrome can affect anybody, but around 80% of the patients are women, which can be a cause to why this hasn't really been taken seriously before, and still isn't common knowledge. It's hard to get a diagnosis because there's no tests that you can take to measure your symptoms, instead the doctors have to listen to what you and the people around you are saying, and then go by the elimination method to find out what it is. The following part is taken from Wikipedia and it tells you about the different symptoms that a patient can experience.

"The most commonly used diagnostic criteria and definition of CFS for research and clinical purposes were published by the United States Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC). The CDC currently recommends the following criteria for diagnosis:

  • Significantly lowered ability to participate in activities that were routine before the onset of the condition, and persisting more than six months
  • Physical or mental activity causes worsening symptoms that would not have been problematic before the onset of the condition, (post-exertional malaise (PEM))
  • Sleep problems

Additionally, one of the following symptoms must be present:

  • Difficulty with thinking and memory
  • Worsening of problems with standing or sitting

Other common symptoms may include:

  • Muscle pain, joint pain, and headache pain
  • Tender lymph nodes in the neck or armpits
  • Sore throat
  • Irritable bowel syndrome
  • Night sweats
  • Sensitivities to foods, odors, chemicals, or nois"


So I'm currently watching a documentary on Netflix called Unrest and it is insane. The people that are being interviewed have so difficult life that it makes me - a bipolar asperger kid with scoliosis and a shitload of allergies - seem 100% healthy and strong. These patients have a hard time just putting one foot down on the floor, or walk up a stairs or even have their windows rolled up so they can see outside. And like I said, this is something that hasn't been talked a lot about and is rarely taken seriously, but this is an extreme issue that we need to focus more on because nobody knows where this is coming from and nobody knows how to cure it.
But back to the family; assuming that you have two children who are constantly sick, can't leave the house so they have teachers over for homeschooling three-four hours each week (which they had), can't walk or maybe not even talk, which can also be an issue, think straight or even hold up a camera long enough to take a selfie. Can't move around other than to drag themselves across the floor while in pain (I don't know how evolved these girls symptoms were), and you have to watch them suffer every hour you're awake. Watch your child fade away, and someone saying that this is only going to get worse. I'm fairly sure that I would kill my children at that point, and I'm sorry if that makes me a bad human being but I would not want my kids having so suffer so horribly knowing that they're only going to feel worse, and worse, and worse.
Now, again, I'm not saying that it's okay to kill your children, because it's not, but I do understand where they're coming from and I think people need to have more understanding and knowledge about this situation and aweful disease before pointing fingers.

So this is only my take on this whole thing, I just wanted to talk about how happy I am each and every day that I'm alive and relatively well. I can do almost anything and that's an amazing feeling to know and I cherish it and I think you should too. Watch the documentary, it's called Unrest, donate money to science if possible and be thankful.


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Welcome back, guys!
I wanted to share some things about getting motivated to write. There are several ways to get motivated and here are some that work, and don't, for me.

Great motivation:

  • When someone appreciates or likes the idea of what I'm writing
  • When I see some of my old friends and classmates succeed in their life
  • When I see people come up from nothing and make it
  • When I meet people that I used to know that I know have low opinions about me, because I want to prove them wrong
  • When I meet people that are optimistic. It's like it's contagious
  • When I meet people who I like, especially people that don't know me all that well. It inspires me to become the greatest version of myself, not only because I want to impress them but because I want to show them how good I can be. I want people to not only get to know me, but also what I possibly could be.
  • When I think about my possible future offspring. Everybody chooses different paths in life and most of them aren't wrong. If you rob people for a living then you're probably not on the right track, but if you work and try to provide for you family and do the best you can then that's awesome. If you've chosen to have kids as soon as possible then good on you, and if you want to wait to have kids and see the world or achieve something first, then also good on you. If you don't want to have kids that also okay. But I want to do something, to be something, that my future kids can be like "oh wow, my mom did all that before she had me". Kids are dicks though so they probably won't say that.
To sum it up: I feel motivated to succeed when I can compare myself to someone (in a good, non-competetive way), when I'm around people who makes me want to be the best version of me, when I think about how me working hard now will affect my future, and when I can prove somebody wrong.

HOWEVER, there are some assholes out there that take it too far and they can turn all your dreams into nightmares and they will fuck up your confidence and if you know people that don't believe in you, you need to cut them out because you don't need that kind of negativity in your life.

Horrible non-motivational stuff:
  • When people go with them "pppfff, you'll never be anything because you suck at writing", or "well, it's not the worst I've read but I sure wish I could get my time back". Especially when they then notice that you're offended or hurt by it and they go "uh, I'm just trying to motivate you, take a hint." I know people like this and if I can't cut them out of my life then I'll just stop talking about my writing dreams with them because it's not worth getting sad about someone who doesn't believe in me.
  • When people have too much confidence in me. I love that people believe in me, I'm so, so thankful. But then it gets to this point when it starts to feel like I have to achieve something in order for them to be truly impressed or proud because they know that I can reach further if I try. This isn't really a bad thing, but it's a lot of pressure at times.
  • Proofreading or editing my stuff before I'm done. Many people have said this before, and I'm one of them; don't look back on what you've just written because you're always going to find something that you don't like and that's going to stop you from finishing. Look ahead, keep writing, and then once you're done you can go back and fix the things that you don't like. I've found myself in this mess far too many times before so I know what I'm talking about, and this is partially because I'm thinking about adding new stuff and how that's going to fit in, before I'm actually done writing.
  • Getting too many peoples opinions. This is a big no-no because too many different opinions are going to mess you up because of course you want to please as many as possible. I try as hard as possible to keep my work secret because I don't want to have someone else's opinions in mind when I write, it will lead my story on a different path because I want to please someone else than me.
  • When people look down on me for wanting to write. This is honestly the worst because there's no harder feeling to handle than when someone doesn't believe in you, no matter what you're trying to achieve. Writing and creating is awesome and actually good for you, so don't let someone without dreams take yours away from you.
Now, how are you going to continue being motivated throughout your writing? You're going to put up reminders that you pass by every day. Maybe have some in a text on your phone, put some on a note that you keep in your closet or nightstand so whenever you open you see it. Maybe you have a picture of someone you want to be the best version for? Put that picture somewhere so you'll see it a couple of times each day. Remind yourself as often as possible of why you want to write. It doesn't matter if you don't always believe in yourself, I believe in you when you don't.

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Hey guys!
I had a pretty decent day today, didn't do much really.
I was supposed to meet Rebecca today, which I did, but I totally overslept so I'm really thankful that my brother has enough courage to wake me up even though I'm an asshole to him when he does.
Went into town, met with Rebecca, had lunch with Rebecca, talk birthday plans and future plans with Rebecca and then we hugged and parted ways. We loosely decided to take the boat to Denmark and eat and shop a little for my birthday just the two of us, and I'm sooooo looking forward to it! Hoping for nice weather that day.

While waiting on the bus I met a neighbor and her new boyfriend. Or rather, they met me. I was just sitting at a bench, minding my own business when someone starts to wave furiously at me. Had no idea what was going on, but then I saw my neighbor and we hugged and talked a little. The talk went over some delicate topics that I wasn't really comfortable with, and there was like 20 more minutes before the bus left and wasn't really sure what to do. Then a knight in shining armor showed up, and I sent him a message asking him to play along and come tell me that we had to go to a Pokémon related thing together. I don't really know this guy more than that we've played together a couple of times, but I'm super happy that he helped me out. It wasn't that the people I was talking to were bad or weird or anything so if you're reading this then please don't feel insulted.

After my rescue, me and knight walked through the park to get to the other bus stop because we still had to get home, and he seems like a really nice guy so if you're reading this; thank you, I owe you one.

Because of this I feel very inspired and I'm posting a shorter post about positive and negative motivation in a second, so look out for that if you feel like you've strayed from your calling as a writer.

Also; don't forget to follow Polly on Instagram (and me, although I don't post as much as Polly), and check out the new recipe that I posted a couple of days ago!


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I'm a 24 year old woman born and living in Helsingborg, Sweden.
On this blog I focus a lot writing; writing my stories, helping you write your stories as well as some book-/movie reviews that I feel fit in here. Other than literature, I also write about my personal life, my opinions on news and pictures of my dog.
As someone struggling with Bipolar Disorder type 2, I also post about mental health.

I would describe myself as too honest, complains a lot, and write long posts.

If you wanna know more, send me a message, follow me on instagram, or ask me on my ask.fm page! 

Interested in collaboration? Send me a message here!