Losing weight

Hey guys!
So I thought I'd update you guys about one of my new years resolutions, which was about me losing weight. I'm almost 25 now and when I grew up I was super skinny. It was to the point that my brother was scared that he was gonna break me, and I went to a doctor about it and I had to go through some kind of anorexia-evaluation, which was a pretty hard thing to do. I didn't eat breakfast and I barely ate otherwise, so it's not a mystery why I was so skinny. Then, I went through a breakup after my first relationship ended when I was 16, and the guy that I had been with for three years at that point was really abusive and controlling and so when I broke free from him I just started to love life and food and eating, which was something I wasn't really "allowed" to do according to him. "If you gain weight I'm going to break up with you or force you to lose weight, and nobody but me is gonna love you and your fat ass when you gain weight". Like we're talking, maybe 2-3 kg, that's not much.

(I also want to point out that I was very mature for my age unfortunately, and even though my parents knew about my relationship I was very very secretive about what went on because I didn't want them to feel bad about what he put me through. I don't blame my parents because they had no way of knowing how bad things were, and I take full responsibility for not asking for help or accepting help once it was offered to me. Take this as a lesson as well; you can't save everybody. You can't help people who refuse help. As much as you want to, it's not your fault.)

So I started to gain weight, then I lost weight, then I gained weight and the post I've ever weighed is 78 kg, and the least (not that I'm fully grown-ish) was 59-60 kg. I don't want to be that skinny again but I also don't want to be this big either because even though it may not be super big, I'm still considered over weight and everything has decided to move to my belly.
Yesterday I found the suit I'm wearing in the head picture, and it's from 2012. I want to fit into that skirt again. I've always loved it, and it's not even close to fitting at this point so that skirt is my goal. But, I'm not going to get down to that size by starving myself again, I'm going start working out.

Yesterday I downloaded a couple of apps from google play store that contain stretching programs and work out programs as well as an app that reminds me to drink water etc. I had a fucking long work out session last night and I intend on doing this so that I'm fit for fight when I turn 25 in April.
I will update you guys on my progress from time to time, and we'll see how it goes.

Love you guys
Love you mom


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