Seriously, I'm getting sick of this...
Hey guys!
I've been feeling like shit these past days too, it was turning around and now it's back again. I didn't take one of my very important medications last night because I couldn't find it (pls don't judge), so the entire night and day has been shit. My bipolar medication isn't addictive in a way, but my body adjusts to it like any other strong medication so I've had trouble with withdrawal today. Because of this I couldn't fall asleep until around 8 am., and woke up two hours later. If I don't take my medication and don't desperately try to sleep, I can easily be awake for 36 hours. I feel like shit, but I'm awake. Another thing that I experience without my medication, even if I'm just a few hours too late with taking it, is this crazy bad feeling like all of my intestines are shaking violently. Like, my entire inside is shaking apart and I start to feel like I'm gonna throw up constantly. I have fortunately enough found my medication tonight so that I'll hopefully get some sleep!
Sadly, I'm not the only one feeling like shit today, because Polly is keeping me company. She's been acting really weird and doing these weird noises and movements when she breaths like something is stuck in her throat, and she has diarrhea. It started when we were out for a walk and she found a hole made by some kind of rodents and she just started to chew away and I could barely pull her away from it, so now I'm super scared that something is seriously wrong and it's breaking me.

Other than this I've been cleaning up a little today and gathered some stuff that I'm going to sell online. Stuff that's in the way and that I've had through some troubled times and I'm ready to let go of those memories now. It feels incredibly freeing, and I'm going to continue this cleaning for some days ahead.

ALSO; it's soooo amazing to create! Will I ever become a real writer? I don't know yet, but I hope so, if I ever actually get finished with my projects before starting new ones. It just feels so great to come up with new stories and plots and scenery and not characters because I hate characters, so I just keep filling notebook after notebook with so many stories without actually getting them done. There is a possibility, if you're good enough which I'm scared I'm not, to sell your story as a script, or idea, instead of turning it into a book. Companies providing these kind of services usually take out a fee, but I'm gonna look into it more and probably write about that in the future.

Right now I'm watching Sex sent me to the ER, which is a garbage show with couples telling their stories of how their sex life got them hurt and then they had to go to the ER, just like the title says. For example people having sex in the ocean and then get stuck together because salt water washes away/dries out your natural lube and then you're.. stuck together. Don't do that. Not only do you get to see these couples embarrass themselves for our amusement, it's also accompanied with this dramatisation with the worst acting in the world. In. The. World. And it's great, it's one of those shows that doesn't make sense and you question peoples logic, but at the same time.. It's kinda fun to judge people.
I haven't changed the channel for like three weeks now, I'm still watching goddamn TLC and they keep sending the same program and same four episodes over and over again. 

DO YOU SEE HOW MANY DIFFERENT SHOWS THEY SEND ON TLC EACH DAY LIKE OMG MAKE UP YOUR MIND.  It's actually amazing, and the only one to blame is me because I continue watching it...


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