What do I believe in? (Depressing)

Hey guys
I didn't sleep well last night, I constantly woke up because Polly was trying to dig a hole through the sofa next to me and it has this really thick fabric so the sound is super loud, and then when she actually did sleep she had weird dreams so she moved around a lot and whimpered loudly. I also felt.. Uneasy throughout the night for some reason, which made it all worse. I woke up at least once every hour, and then my phone started to ring constantly and I'm just really tired right now.
So, we've got that out of the way.

I didn't do shit today, except for when mom came home. We were going to go buy food, but decided to take a detour through Helsingborg to catch some Pokémon and look at the Helsingborg Dream Light show, which is this installment that goes throughout the entire city and it's so amazing and colorful. There's over 40 different installments in our tiny town, so Helsingborg is filled at the moment. We ended up watching an installment about Helsingborg, projected on our town hall.

Picture borrowed from Mapio.

I did film the whole thing and I'll post it within the next few days.

In other news; the 19 year old man that opened fire at a school in Florida yesterday is in custody, and he is a psychopat. That's the way it is. Don't blame TV-/computer games, because he would have done this either way. So far 17 people have died. I can't really describe how I feel about death because it's so strong. Like, a life can end in a split second. It that second, everything that this person have learned, gone through, experienced, is just gone. All of it is just deleted. The only thing left is the memory the people still have of that person, and that's really scary. Always do your best, and always be your best self, because that's the only thing left when you're gone.

Without getting into this too deep, I feel like I want to express what I believe in after death and how it all makes sense to me. A longer post about this might come later but it's pretty heavy stuff to admit so I have to gather up some courage for it.
I do believe in souls. I believe in angels (to an extent), and I do to and extent believe in God. I think that there's a limited amount of souls, and they are like a spark of electricity that we need to live.
So imagine your body being a computer, hardware, and then you need a soul, electricity, to power the hardware. Then you also have the software, which is what makes you you, like your memories, thoughts, opinions, preferences etc. And then when you die your body might be cremated or buried or whatever you want, your soul is "released" back into wherever souls are stored, and your you is what moves on into heaven if that's where you'll end up, if heaven exists. A ghost or spirit would be your you, rather than the soul. The soul isn't yours, you borrow it.
Well, why does the soul allow itself to be borrowed like that? Because whenever a soul goes through a life, parts of the life as well as your you, get stuck on the soul like crumbs and the soul needs to have gone through certain things throughout several lives in order to evolve to something bigger. What is bigger? you might ask, and I don't know that. But it gives life a meaning, even really shitty lives, when everything you go through is used to help the soul become something greater.

And so that's that. There's obviously more, but that's what I believe you consists of and why bad things sometimes happens to good people. Because I honestly can't explain it otherwise.

❤️

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