My headache is killing me

Hey guys!
So it's tuesday and I'm already done with this week. If you're not up to date on this whole Swedish weather thing, it is... gruesome. Obviously there are a places that have it a lot worse in this weather but it's pretty bad and summer can't come fast enough. Or spring, I prefer spring.
Right now we have zero snow in Helsingborg, but it's windy as hell and it rains on and off. We are, however, supposed to get more snow soon. I don't like snow, I hate snow, and I just want us all to be done with snow for a couple of months, preferably until at least November.

Today I went to see my psych., which I also went to yesterday but it turns out that the text message service that let us know when we have appointments have gone from texten one day before, to two days before. And as someone who doesn't really like to go out and talk to people, that kinda sucks because now I had to do that twice.
The appointment went okay, it wasn't one of those eureka moments, but we did talk about what I think is going good in my life, and going not so good. Relationships and spare time got high scores, and health and work/education got pretty poor ones. This wasn't really a surprise because I know who and how I am, and I know that my hobbies and what I do on my spare time is something that I like to do, and the people I want around me are the people I have around me. Of course things can always get better, but I'm satisfied with how it is right now.
Health is a big problem, and it always has been. I've always been very sick, especially as a child. I'm clumsy, I always have some kind of problem going on, like headache or fever or dizziness. Mental health is a whole other level, which is affecting a big part of my life, obviously, but right now it's because I don't get along with my doctor, who should be the one who's on my side and want what's best for me. We have very different views of certain things and I worry a lot about how it will affect my future. She doens't believe that I'm bipolar, even though I've met so, so many doctors and I had a team that looked into my mental health. But she doesn't believe in it, therefor everybody else is wrong. I feel bad for trashtalking her, but she's a really big problem and I'm scared about how she, who meets me like three hours every year, can change my life, whether I want her to or not.
Mental health has in turn made it hard for me to get through school. It's not that I'm bad at the subjects, I love to study, but it's hard to focus, it's hard to learn and take in new information when I'm in a "down" period and most of the times it's hard to even get out of bed. Because of this I don't have as much of an education as I would like, and this, plus how I am and feel, makes it harder to get a job. I don't want to say it, I hate myself for it, but I am kinda special needs when it comes to what I can and can't handle. "Just suffer through it like everybody else" is something that I just can't do.

What else.. YES, last night I watched the show The end of the f*** world on Netflix. I didn't think that I would, it didn't seem like a show for me, and it wasn't, but "it's not garbage, let's see what happens".
Basically it's about a girl who hates everything and has a shitty attitude, and a guy who thinks he's a psychopath. She wants to leave town, and he wants to kill her. And then they leave town together.
It wasn't great, I'm mostly likely not going to watch it again, but it wasn't a waste of time. If you like dark comedy teenage drama then I recommend it.

Sebastian made dinner tonight, for once, so I could suffer in my lonesome infront of the blog instead. Now it's me, lasagna, and Cake Boss for the rest of the evening.
Gnight guys

Etiketter: sick think future life psych


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