Nothing much, and you?

Hey guys!
So lately I've been struggling with writing here because I wake up in the morning and think "oh I'm totally going to write about this and this tonight" but then... I don't, because I'm tired and I have a headache or some shit.

I went to the doctor a couple of days ago because I have trouble eating. Not in a eating complexion type of way (anymore), but whenever I eat I get these massive coughing attacs that can last for up to an hour, which leaves me incredibly tired to the point where I'm crying. And it doesn't just bother me either, because my mom and brother have to live with me coughing 'til there's no more sound left to make. "Are you dying?" "Do you need help?" "Are you okay?" Well no, I'm absolutely not okay but it bothers me that they ask because I know by them asking that it's bothering them that I cough. I also know that it's coming from a good place, but it's so hard to speak and cough at the same time. Either way, thank you mom for checking up on me!
Because of this issue I had to visit the doctor and he didn't say anything.. fun. At all. Like, not at all. It can be allergies (I have many but I'm very good at staying away from whatever I'm allergic to), it can be a possible gluten allergy, but that's also not very likely. It can be an infection, which is actually very much possible because I've been sick for several months now and the coughing began around the time my previous infection went away. So right now I have to take two different types of medication, one being Cocillana Etyfin which I've complained about before because it smells and it tastes the worst and I'm on the brink of throwing up whenever I'm near it. I also have to go get an x-ray of my lungs which I'm planning on doing tomorrow. And if all of this doesn't give any result then we might have to do a gastroscopy, which is where they take a thick string with a small camera attached to it and you have a mouthpiece in and then you have to swallow liquid while the doctor pushes this string camera down your throat. "Thankfully" mine's probably only going to go down my throat, rather than all the way down through the colons because they have to pull out the tiny fucker as well. I can get both calming medication and plenty of anaesthesia but it still feels very uncomfortable and I won't be able to eat for almost a day. And when the doctor said that they might have to perform one of these on me, which I already kinda knew because I've read about it, my mom just turned away and like "oh my god" and that's when I realised that this might actually happen. So I'm scared. I'm very scared because it's one of those things that I never wanted to go through.

That's basically all for today, I've been having such a hard time with my headache today and yesterday, probably because the summer heat has finally struck Sweden and I... Can't fucking wait for winter. Fuck this, I'm moving to Alaska.

Gnight guys
Gnight mom

Etiketter: sick doctor


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